Great one from [fs.blog]...
"The optimal solution to being independent and upright while remaining a social animal is: to seek first your own self-respect and, secondarily and conditionally, that of others, provided your external image does not conflict with your own self-respect. Most people get it backwards and seek the admiration of the collective and something called “a good reputation” at the expense of self-worth for, alas, the two are in frequent conflict under modernity." - Nassim Taleb
"The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an Inner Scorecard or an Outer Scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an Inner Scorecard.” - Warren Buffet
While human behavior is complex and resistant to a “one size fits all” approach, there are core predictable instincts that help us understand ourselves and others better.
One instinct that evolution has driven into us is our need for hierarchy. This is our ego, status, standing, reputation and where we are in the pecking order. We want the praise and acceptance of our peers. We crave admiration of those we see as our peers and when others seem to have more than us.
The pursuit of (deserved) admiration gives us energy to do more. It’s a part of the explanation for why the human world has moved along so far from where it started — we’re willing to do extraordinary things that are very difficult, like starting a company from scratch, inventing a new and better product, solving some ridiculously complicated theorem, or conquering unknown territory. All in an effort to gain acceptance and admiration.
Problems arise when we start compromising our own standards, those we have set for ourselves, in order to earn the admiration of others. Problems come when we choose to focus on what others think and see versus reality.
This very much a synergistic concept with 'the Red Queen Effect' mental model. We can (if not aware and disciplined) spend a great deal of mental, physical, and emotional energy plus brain power resources doing things that really mean nothing to our inner scorecard but somehow relate to others...doing nothing but what is directly relational to our inner scorecard is a #lifehack.